Thursday, December 22, 2016

wandering to 'wonders'

Have you been 'wandering' a lot lately? The feeling of trying to be adventurous, exploring new experiences, that sudden rush of adrenaline that gives you the urge to be brave yet stupid.

Honestly, I have been in this limbo for quite a time now... have been exploring things that somewhat excites something in me, though I know for a fact that it doesn't conform to the standards of being prim and proper — morally upright and correct. Yes, I am very much aware of it and what it is but sometimes it's just so hard not to give in...temptation really do finds its ways to cripple your sense of sanity.

Maybe you're not that emotionally secured like what you think or maybe there's no such thing as security? I have been showered with enough to make me scream 'I am feeling secured!' yet I still tend to do stupid things that if all hell breaks loose it will definitely ruin those reasons that makes me feel secure at all...

I'd say all of us tend to be 'schizo' because it takes a lot to be in control of the different personalities inside us...one moment, we're smooth sailing and then the next, we're already sinking...

With all of these doubts and hanging questions, I'd rather conclude that there's no standard not even a single one that can define security. Security is about finding that specific reason which will make you feel complete AND really holding so damn hard into it... 

Temptations will always be there but it does not mean inevitable...It takes acceptance, contentment and firm mindset to really attain sense of security to withstand and shoo away any temptations along the road — which I admittedly need to learn.



Tuesday, November 22, 2016

the lost Nexxus

It has been more than a decade since I made my first entry. I couldn't even remember my main objective then for creating a blog, but I think partly because I just want to record all the thoughts that I have inside my weird self given the 'very introvert' that I was – and yes I still am, a bit =)

Yes, this has been my channel, my very own realm where the possibilities are endless, where my thoughts know no boundaries... my 'Nexxus', a number of times lost but never forgotten and keeps on coming back. Something that reflects my persona – always gets lost but keeps on striving to get back and move forward.

Fueled by time and empowered by experiences...